TR: Hello
CH: hi hale
CH: how are you? sorry i havent written or sent anything in a while it got busy here
TR: you're alive
TR: right?
CH: of course
CH: why wouldnt i be
CH: did something happen?
CH: hale?
TR: hahaa.
TR: nothing ever changes
CH: what do you mean?
TR: even when everything does
TR: I don't know if I'll be able to talk anymore.
CH: what? why?
CH: hale, what happened?
TR: It's over.
TR: It'll be over soon.
TR: The way it's going, I'm not making it.
CH: can you please just tell me anything at all
CH: what are you talking about?
CH: please dont go
TR: You're gone.
TR: Everyone. Everyone who mattered.
CH: something happened to him?
TR: He told me he was going to die and he said goodbye.
TR: And then Cashel. Finn. Cogs. Navy. All. Like that. Like it's nothing.
TR: I guess it solves the mystery
TR: You're not him. You can't be.
TR: Cole's dead.
CH: im sorry
CH: im still alive though. i know its not
CH: i dont know what it is
CH: im sorry. i dont know
TR: Still alive a universe away
TR: I wonder if I'm out there too.
TR: It doesn't matter.
TR: when i think about it i never did anything
TR: I never made anything that didn't blow up in my face
TR: never met anyone who didn't learn how to hate me
TR: Killed people who didn't deserve it.
TR: Never saved anyone.
TR: I'll get what I fucking deserve.
CH: please dont say that
CH: you did save me in a way. not directly but
CH: you did contribute
CH: i dont know if i can change your mind. but please know you dont deserve bad things
CH: no one deserves bad things happening to them
TR: It's easy to say that when you haven't seen it.
CH: war isnt a thing unique to your world, you know. i dont know how to say this in a
CH: i dont know. nicer way
CH: this is probably making things worse
CH: i havent seen what youve been through, that is true
CH: but then again, you told me things. and from my point of view it looks like you were put in a really horrible situation against your will
TR: You haven't seen what I've done, Harvey.
CH: and were forced to do horrible things
TR: You only know from what I've told you.
TR: I can't do it anymore.
TR: You can't keep being nice to me.
TR: It'll only make it hurt.
CH: make it hurt for you or for me?
TR: I don't want to hurt you.
TR: When I die, I'll make it fucking count.
TR: I don't know why I messaged you. I'm sorry.
CH: please dont be
CH: id rather keep talking to you than not. i promise
TR: It would be easier to wonder.
TR: Just forget.
CH: it really wouldnt
CH: god it really fucking wouldnt
CH: ive been wondering and guessing and doubting my own self for 20 years
CH: it really wouldnt be easier. this is easier
CH: even if its painful sometimes
CH: i cant go back to that. i dont want to go back to that
CH: ive been trying to forget. before all this. and it wasnt really possible. sometimes it felt like it was but it wasnt really
CH: and now i cant even think of trying to forget. i just cant
TR: Then you're going to have to grieve.
CH: hale i cant do this
CH: do you know youre going to die for certain? do you know what will happen?
CH: im not talking about believing or thinking something. im asking if you know for sure
CH: you dont know. right?
TR: You want to know the funniest thing, Harvey?
TR: Before this last one started, I had hope. For the first time in my life.
TR: I showed my brother how to use my gun. I made promises.
TR: And then the first person I learned how to love shot him in the heart. And he died in my arms.
TR: He's still warm.
TR: If I don't die, it's worse.
TR: Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
TR: Even if you beg.
CH: did you know i tried to kill myself when i was 24
CH: it was right after my birthday that summer
CH: thing is. i thought it would end everything
CH: obviously i failed. and im glad i did. i wish i could say it got better or easier to bear because it didnt exactly. but there are moments that make me really glad i failed that time
CH: see if i succeeded it would just. that would be it. it would just be over and done
CH: but i didnt. and that is better because theres still space and time for something else to happen
CH: do you know what i mean? i dont know if im making sense
CH: i dont know. theres always something if you give it time
CH: something that makes it worth being alive, i mean
TR: I don't want to die, Cole.
TR: The universe is ending.
CH: what do you mean ending?
TR: That's what this is all for. To stop it.
TR: But I don't think we're going to win.
CH: when is that supposed to happen?
TR: I don't know. Can't be long now.
TR: I'm not the one who knows things.
CH: right, i remember you told me that
CH: can you make me a promise? this is probably the only thing ill ever ask of you to be honest
TR: I don't know.
CH: well ill ask you anyway
CH: if you do win, just message me something to let me know that, okay?
CH: i dont care if its just a singular dot or anything, you dont have to talk to me if you dont want to
CH: just anything
TR: I will.
TR: And I don't
TR: I want you to still be here.
TR: You got out.
CH: ill be here, i promise
TR: Try to stop caring.
TR: Just in case.
CH: it will probably take me another 20 years until i try to do that
TR: I need to go.
CH: where?
TR: Away.
TR: And
TR: I never got to say it. To him. I didn't know how.
TR: But.
TR: I loved you before I knew what love was, I think.
TR: I'll see you. Or I won't.
TR: Bye.
SYSTEM: taciturnRenegade [TR] is offline.
CH: i love you too